Friday, December 17, 2010

Please, Please Don't Compare!

Mom tells the little girl, "Quick, finish your food! Even our neighbour Ah Hua is done with her meal."

Teenage girl tells her mom, "I sure wanna join. Even our neighbour Ah Hua has signed up for it!"

My cartoon above was published in Sin Chiew Jit Poh back in 1996. I still remember I was inspired by an article in Reader's Digest about "Not to compare your child with others".

I constantly remind myself of that. Of course, at times I'd forget especially when my kids are too complacent and didn't give their best. I would compare them with others and that would usually made them very unhappy.

I know it's unfair to make comparison. Everyone is unique and has different strengths and weaknesses. Most of the time, I would encourage them by saying, "Hey, with this new piece of knowledge/new vocab, you're better than yesterday!" And I'll be happy for them as long as there's some improvement in their grades.
Zen Tarot Card

the following are extracted from the internet:

"Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. When you don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappears. Then you are, you are simply there. A small bush or a big high tree--it doesn't matter; you are yourself..."


Who ever told you that the bamboo is more beautiful than the oak, or the oak more valuable than the bamboo? Do you think the oak wishes it had a hollow trunk like this bamboo? Does the bamboo feel jealous of the oak because it is bigger and its leaves change color in the fall? The very idea of the two trees comparing themselves to each other seems ridiculous, but we humans seem to find this habit very hard to break. Let's face it, there is always going to be somebody who is more beautiful, more talented, stronger, more intelligent, or apparently happier than you are. And conversely, there will always be those who are less than you in all these ways. The way to find out who you are is not by comparing yourself with others, but by looking to see whether you are fulfilling your own potential in the best way you know how.

- Osho The Sun Rises in the Evening Chapter 4


薰衣草夫人 said...


YuinTing said...


Joyful.Mum said...

That is why I like the system of Homeschooling - my boys' school. Everyone takes his own tests, no comparison of one's results to another.

YuinTing said...

Hi Joyful.Mum, I agree with you that one of the advantages of homeschooling is that the kids progress at their own pace. I'm sure it take a lot of discipline too. You must be a very good teacher for your kids :-)