Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Education, Migration and a Mother's Love

Many years ago a teacher told my aunty that she wished her daughter would not get a place in the university but go to the teacher’s college instead. Being a teacher, I’m sure she wanted her child to get the best education. Unfortunately she just couldn’t afford the fee. No wonder my mom said: “孩子笨,頭痛; 孩子聰明但負擔不起他的教育費, 心痛。” If your child is stupid, you got headache. If your child is smart yet you could not afford his/her education, you will have heartache”.

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We had a farewell gathering for an elderly neighbor recently. She is moving out from her son’s bungalow because his family is migrating to Australia soon. That old aunty will stay put in Malaysia, but her son has decided to rent the bungalow out to someone else. Hence she has no choice but to be “relocated” to a new house in Subang that is close to another child’s house. I’m sure it'll take her a while to adjust to the new life and new place... minus her son & grandchildren by her side. 孩子移民,表面風光?For the aging parents with children migrating, it may look good on the outside only.

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A friend of mine owns a beautiful bungalow. She’s a very kind and humble lady who’s very active in charity. She told me she purposely foregoes the chance to stay in an even more expensive bungalow inside Tropicana for the sake of her children. She doesn’t want her children to grow up spoilt. Some poor parents have to sacrifice their “Needs” for their children. 再穷不能穷教育 No matter how poor, children should not be deprived of education. Yet some rich parents out there are sacrificing their “Wants” for their children. 再富也要穷孩子No matter how rich, we should limit our children's material wealth but to enrich their soul & spirit.

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8 comments:

reanaclaire said...

At least the children rented the house to the elderly lady and not putting her in an old folk's home..
well, i guess those days' parents are not the same as today's parents.. the thinking is different in some ways already..

Venie said...

We will never understand the thinking of youngster nowadays. :/

citiding said...

All parents should learn:
再富也要穷孩子!

YuinTing said...

Hi Claire, I believe the parent's feelings (when children are migrating) are still the same, is just that they have to change their thinking. I have a friend with 2 daughters migrated to Australia some years ago. She's feeling pretty lonely (a son is staying with her) and now she's blaming our education system for "separating" her family apart. So sad...

Hi Venie, when my kids were very young, they felt that "mom is so smart and know so much"... then when they grow older, they feel that "mom... something you don't know one lah...", and then when they're even older, they say "Aiya mom...you know nothing lah...". Got to be patient & wait until they become parents, then they will say "Now I know mom has gone through it and really knows quite a lot."

Hi mr citiding, I've seen kids being spoilt with all types of expensive items and I constantly remind myself not to fall into the same trap. Money is like fertilizer, it's needed for the plant to grow healthily, but TOO MUCH FERTILIZER WILL KILL PLANTS!

I am against kids enjoying branded stuff at an young age. I told my kids to "build a brand" for themselves (knowledge, attitude and personality). At the end of the day, we look up to someone not because of what branded items they're wearing, but how they carry themselves.

薰衣草夫人 said...

这个年代,由于孩子寻求自己的理想而离开父母身边,留下不少空巢老人,我想这种趋向在未来会更加严重。

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Yuin Ting, very interesting, but sad too.....when old people are left behind.
Best regards.
Lee.

YuinTing said...

夫人,幸好现在可用Skype谈天,父母看到远方孩子会比较放心,也可解相思之苦。父母身旁最好也有群好友互相扶持。

YuinTing said...

Hi Uncle Lee, perhaps it is just like what Kahlil Gibran said below:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.